‘Hindi na kita mahal’

Alam ko hindi na kita
mahal —
Dahil lumipas na ang
oras para sa ating
dalawa.
Hindi ko na maalala
kung gaano kalakas ang
mga tawa sa tuwing
magbibiro ka;
Nakalimutan ko na kung
hanggang saan umaabot
ang ngiti sa mga labi
kapag kausap ka

Kaya alam ko, hindi na
kita mahal —
Dahil hindi ko na pinipilit
alalahanin ang mga oras
na pinakamasasaya;
Dati rati, memoryado ko
ang bawat sandali na kapi-
ling ka; alam na alam
ang bawat linya, ang tono
ng bawat salita, kada
galaw at pagtitig sa
aking mga mata

Oo naman hindi na kita
mahal —
Jusko, ilang taon na ba?
Tatlo, lima, pito?
Magpipito na!
Pitong taon na simula nang

teka, hindi ko na
rin mailarawan kung saan o
kailan ko ba unang siniguro
na oo nga, espesyal, hindi
lang ito paghanga

At kung hindi ka pa
kumbinsido; hindi na kita
mahal —
Tara halika dito, ipapakilala
ko siya sayo

Hindi na,
Hindi na,
Dahil kaya ko nang
magmahal ng iba;

Hindi na,
Hindi na ako takot na baka
dahil wala ka na, dahil
lumipas na ang panahon
para sa ating dalawa —
kaya mahal ko siya
Hindi na,
Hindi na dahil sa kawalan
mo kung bakit may
pumupuno nito;
pangako
Pero alam mo,
sa tuwing darating ako sa
dulo,
Sa tuwing may mga luha
sa matang tumutulo;
mga alaala mo pa rin
ang sumasalubong;
naghihintay;
binabalikan

walang papantay
sa unang pakiramdam;
kahit hindi mo ito
naramdaman,

kahit ako lang,

kahit hindi mo ako
minahal

Kaya sasabihin
kong hindi na kita
mahal; pipikit;
paulit-ulit,
hanggang sa balang
araw mabura na
ang lahat ng
damdaming nakaukit

Love was

Love was a scribble

Every stroke so glumly done

So haphazard — that one

could ever be oblivious of

What the lines and curves

Would spell

Love is

Love is a couplet

Two lines that rhyme and fit

Words are its rock —

Sweet, reassuring, dearest

Hold right and tight the plume

And the couplet runs ceaseless

Love will be

Love will be these blank pages

Pure, and white and innocent

Forever it will be waiting

Until we write on it —

commas, apostrophes,

quotations, ellipsis

 

-v

Spring in the City

 

I saw a crocus blooming in the park,

I felt a hint of magic in the air,

I heard faint music sighing everywhere,

And so, as all the world, grew softly dark—

I found again the hope that never dies,

And hungrily, without-flung arms,

I came once more to you.

And when you spoke my name

I read springtime eternal in your eyes!

 

-from Crossroads by Margaret Sangster

The River and the Tree

 

“You are white and tall and swaying,” sang the river to the tree,

“And your leaves are touched with silver—but you never smile on me;

For your branches murmur love songs to the sun- kissed turquoise sky,

And you seem so far above me that I always hurry by!”

“You are laughing in your shallows, you are somber in your deeps,

And below your shining surface there’s a heart that never sleeps;

But all day you pass me, dancing, and at evening time you dream,

And I didn’t think you liked me,” sang the birch- tree to the stream.

So they got a bit acquainted on a glowing summer day,

And they found they liked each other (which is often times the way);

And the river got so friendly, and it ran so very slow,

That the birch-tree shone reflected in the water down below!

 

-from Crossroads by Margaret Sangster

Forward

 
Each step she takes,
each leap,
she becomes the archetype
of taken for granted
 
Left with no choice
she always has to
do the first move;
as if piece by piece
she was made to fill
the frontline of
the battleground
 
She is always willing
to give space, to give way;
willing to void the spots
she once filled –
because she knew
no one has ever been
afraid of losing her
 
Every piece of her
has never been averse
of supporting,
covering;
every portion of her has
never been cowed to die
so to let others live
 
Still, the pathways she paved,
the courage she devoted –
all seemed so insignificant
in everybody’s eyes,
no one cares
she’s just too small,
too weak to be valued
 
But whatever she is
to anybody else’s sight,
she steps forward,
she leaps forward,
she goes no other direction
but forward –
 
That’s because she knows
forward will always lead
to being something, someone;
she knows that the queen
was once
just a pawn
who kept on
moving
forward

-v